


(not) all right

by JulianAst



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, don't touch ma boy, will deserves the world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 12:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12864192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JulianAst/pseuds/JulianAst
Summary: ask will byers if it's good and get in response stand-by "everything's all right".stand-by false "everything's good". and the most sincere simulated smile in the whole fucking world.





	(not) all right

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work in english tho  
> sorry if there are to many errors one the text
> 
> (and goddamn I reply love my friend who helped me a lot. thank you, nelly!)

ask will byers if it's good and get in response stand-by "everything's all right". stand-by _false_ "everything's good". and the most sincere simulated smile in the whole fucking world.

 

 _everything is good_ as if it's not him to whom the whole school stares of.

 _everything is all right_ like it's not him who gets notes with offensive "zombie-boy" and advice to eat brains instead of salad.

 _everything's just fine_ like it's not his friends who pretend he is porcelain. like from any word-remind-talk byers will fall apart on small pieces.

 

like he is not broken yet.

 

will knows that everyone puts efforts. mom accidentally falls asleep next to him almost every day. johnathan manages to spend more time with his little brother. mike looks supporting and filters jokes of others about upside down and stuff.

but this doesn't help at all.

it only makes everything even worse. and will really doesn't know how it would be better. in fact, he really doesn't. but sometimes in his regular nightmares nasty voice whispers, "it would be better if you died".

 

and will knocks these "if" under the heart hoping the voice is lying.

 

it is better not to tell anyone: joyce and johnathan will be scared, others will be worried.

it is better not to tell anyone. even mike. _especially_ mike.

 

every time will byers dies in his dream from demogorgon.

every time will byers dies in reality from mike's understanding smiles and friendly pats on the shoulder.

 

(and it doesn't help.)

 

sometimes it seems to will that he didn't return from the upside down. that the real will byers, wise will, nice friendly boy, remained to die on the other side. and instead of him came some other boy.

and this other boy, don't even look like former, has to professionally act will byers in front of society. and only when alone, when creepy thoughts dont let will rest, he, who will never be himself again, allows tears to roll down his cheeks. all strength leaves him, he lets the quiet pitiful moans break out of the throat.

 

but then he pretends normal and tries to live like everyone again and again.

 

will byers is a bad copy of himself. an awful joke. will byers is broken mechanism. gears rusted and default "everything is good" is harder to say every time.

 

"are you all right?", mike asks.

"what's happened?" mike repeats and repeats.

 

but byers cuts the best of his cardboard smiles and gluing it on his face.

 

_everything all right, mike._

_nothing happened, mike._

 

(and prefers to think that disbelief in eyes of his best friend only seems to him. only seems.)

 

but wheeler destroys all the theory, says that it's all bullshit. he says 'you _think i'm blind?_ ' and ' _you know you can trust me!'_. and rips off all of will's masks at the one moment.

 

maybe it's okay for boys to cry. in the most critical moments. and now it is the most critical moment ever.

 

mike is lost and scared. he's hugging byers stronger than earlier, calming petting on the back and whispering as a mantra ' _everythingwillbefineeverythingwillbefinewillbewillbe_ '.

and maybe believes this a little bit himself.

 

but then will wakes up of quite mom's guestion.

"nightmares again?", she asks gently holging his hand.

 

and, damn. all of these stupid rules about "sometimes" are burning blue flame on the horizon.

 

(ask will again. and again. and one more time! and get the same answer.)

 

sometimes will stucks in un-realiry, on the other side. he, the acrobat, turns into the flea and can't magically go back.

magically there is only mike next to him. always mike. always. he tells to breathe deeply and holds will's hand so hard. there is real anxiety in wheeler's eyes, mike himself almost trembling.

and literary the point is not in " _all-right-not-all-right_ ", because mike doesn't really believe this shit, and words are stuck somewhere in his throat.

 

already sitting on wheleer's cosy sofa will suddenly understands that the whole time is mike who helped him not to get crazy completely.

and he is still helping.

 

greasing the mechanisms, reparing from the inside, gluing funny patches with kittens on byers' broken heart. joking something harmless and doesn't let his hand.

 

"if we're both going crazy, we'll go crazy together, right?", mike says.

 

and will, who forgot all the default options, replies, "yeah, crazy together".


End file.
